Everything changes. If it didn’t life would be pretty boring. But what happens when too many changes occur and they get to be too much to handle? Some handle it well, and, some fall apart. For those who adapt easily to change I applaud you. For those, like me, who fall apart, I hope this article will be helpful to you.
People come and people go
People come and they go in your life. When it’s someone you love and trust the loss can be devastating. Adapting to life without them can be difficult. Here are some ideas that may help:
- If your loss is due to death, you could make a memory book of the good times. It may be difficult to assemble but it will help to remind you of the happier times in your life;
- If you’ve lost someone do to a breakup or divorce, busy yourself doing things you enjoy that you couldn’t do before such as taking a walk, bike riding, crafting, meeting friends after work for dinner. Don’t overthink things. You will only make yourself miserable.
- If you’ve grown apart from a good friend, pick up the phone and call them, or send them a card or even a bouquet of flowers to let them know you’re thinking of them.
Adjust your attitude
Instead of thinking things won’t get better for you, think about the positive things in your life. Do you have people who love you? A good job? A roof over your head? There are people in the world who don’t have any of those yet they’re content because they know the value of the people they do have in their lives.
I’m one of those independent, stubborn people who don’t like to admit that I need help, let alone ask for it. Where has that gotten me? Absolutely nowhere. It’s okay to let people help you. There is a BIG difference between accepting and expecting help. Don’t let your pride get in the way.
Change can be good
Let’s say you’ve been in a job, marriage, or relationship where you’ve been underappreciated for quite some time, a change might not only be welcome but it might do you some good. No, I’m not saying quit your job, break up your relationship or get a divorce, I’m saying look at what you can change and do something about it. If you can talk to your spouse or significant other and tell them how you’re feeling and what they can do to help you feel better you just might see an improvement in your relationship. You may not see an improvement but at least you’ll know you’ve tried. Talk to your boss. Chances are, if you’re feeling underappreciated there are others in your office who are as well. Maybe you could suggest an employee appreciation luncheon. Nothing too extravagant, just enough to say “I appreciate your effort.”
Don’t overdo it
Don’t try to make a lot of changes all at once. This can be a recipe for disaster. For example; introducing a new puppy into the family and bringing home your new baby at the same time might not be a good idea. Obviously you can’t always control when a baby is born but if you’re expecting you may want to hold off until after the baby is born to think about getting a new puppy. The same would go for any major changes you plan to make in your life. Take them one step at a time if you can. I know sometimes getting a new job and having to relocate tend to happen at the same time but my advice is to pace yourself.
Watch out for the curveball
What happens when you can’t control what happens? What if you get sick and can’t work? What if your child is diagnosed with a disorder that is going to take a lot of love and hard work to get them to a safe place? What if you had two incomes when you left for work in the morning and by mid-afternoon you were told you only had one? My best advice? Deal with it!
I don’t mean deal with it in the sense of “suck it up”, I mean face it and deal with all of the emotions that come along with it. Don’t sweep them under the rug thinking they’ll go away. They will resurface when you least expect them to. I say this from experience.
Give yourself a break
You deserve to be pampered too! Remember, you’re still going to have days where you’ll fall apart and that’s okay.
“All the masterpieces of art contain both light and shadow. A happy life is not one filled with only sunshine but one which uses both light and shadow to produce beauty.” – Billy Graham
Life is full of surprises and how you adjust to the many changes you’ll go through will determine your happiness.
*This post may contain affiliate links. If a purchase is made through an affiliate link, I will make a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting the effort put into bringing you this site.
*The content in this post is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.